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Only in Miami Stories from The Miami Creation Myth
Miami’s Affordable Housing Program Involves Shouting Tech Buzzwords at Poor People
“Disruptive innovation! Blockchain! Series B! Value curve! Web 3.0! Metaverse! 6G! Mixed reality! NFT!”
Native Miamians Declared an Endangered Species
The Environmental Protection Agency will place native Miamians on the Endangered Species List given their dwindling numbers and uncertain outlook.
Every Insane Driving Move You’ll See in Miami
Every crazy-ass thing you’ll see on the Magic City’s crazy-ass roads.
Hugo Chavez Themed Restaurant Opens in Doral
“As a white man with no inkling of the Latino refugee experience, I’m the perfect person to open a restaurant celebrating Chavez!” exclaimed Meenan.
FPL Sacks Orlando After Two-Month Siege
Smoke rose in dark, acrid columns from Downtown Orlando as a line of shackled Disney characters trudged out of the city and into an uncertain future.
Summer ’98
Alex’s mom, bemused, skeptical, shakes her head, and starts, “You boys…” And Nick’s mom concludes “…are fucking nerds.”
Abandoned Shed in the Everglades Sells for $700K, Cash, Sight Unseen
Abandoned in 1968, the shack since collapsed into a rotting jumble composed of daddy long-legs, rattlesnakes, mosquito eggs, and trace amounts of wood.
Miami Will Run Busses on Time as Art Basel Performance Piece
Upon inquiring whether the performance piece would be extended beyond Art Basel, Ms. Bravo laughed in my face.
Miami Makes Bro Its Official Pronoun
At the end of the day, I’m a just a forward-thinking, tolerant, accepting Latino who wants his non-existent daughter to be happy
Non-Racist Latino Doesn’t Want His Daughter to Date a Black Guy
At the end of the day, I’m a just a forward-thinking, tolerant, accepting Latino who wants his non-existent daughter to be happy
White Family Can’t Understand Cuban Ghost Haunting Them
Lysol was mysteriously replaced with Fabuloso. Flying chancletas smacked their daughter when she misbehaved. The radio would randomly blast Ritmo 95.
God Turns Down Miami’s Temperature from Broil to Bake
Noticing Homestead and Aventura burning slightly, the Great Almighty switched the Celestial Oven Miami had been sitting in since April from broil to bake.
