a culturo-cosmic adventure
Just as the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, and Norse had their gods, villains, and heroes, Miami now has a legendary saga based on the hyperbolic surrealism that is living in South Florida. You will be introduced to a wholly unique universe with its own, often absurd, deities and norms—much like the city from which it’s inspired, and journey from the beginning of the universe, when Pachango the Creator first awoke on his divine pin pan pun, to when the cubanos and their fellow Latinics quite literally tumbled out of the waves and onto Miami’s shores. Along the way, you’ll learn answers to deep existential questions, such as: Where do croquetas come from? Who is the god of chisme? And why is everyone late to everything?
Communitis Pandemic Devastates South Florida
“They’re under the bed! They’re under the bed!” yelled Alejandro Gomez. The middle-aged Cuban-American man rocked his gurney so violently that three burly nurses had to restrain him.
Gov. Ron DeSantis Opens Florida’s Nuclear Waste Sites to Partygoers
“I’m one with the universe!” yelled DeSantis, arms and face to the sky as a truly banging remix of Endor’s “Sexiest Man in Jamaica” rocked the crowd.
Not Everything You Dislike Is Communist
This piece is directed to those who believe demands for racial justice, equal pay, climate action, LQBTQ rights, voting access, government accountability, immigration reform, and addressing other systemic societal ills are inherently communist.
COVID Vector Visits Miami
A virulent COVID vector arrived in Miami this morning to yell at people in enclosed spaces.
I Have a Business Admin Degree from Barry and Here’s Why Wearing a Mask is Stupid
Everyone who dies from COVID is old, and brown, and socialist, and there’s no way MY parents get it because they’re CUBAN and vote REPUBLICAN.
Miami-Dade County Completes Invisible Metrorail Line to Miami Beach
The Transparent Line will connect to Metrorail’s Ethereal Line, which runs from Brickell to FIU, and the Intangible Line uniting Downtown Miami with Fort Lauderdale.
