a culturo-cosmic adventure
Just as the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, and Norse had their gods, villains, and heroes, Miami now has a legendary saga based on the hyperbolic surrealism that is living in South Florida. You will be introduced to a wholly unique universe with its own, often absurd, deities and norms—much like the city from which it’s inspired, and journey from the beginning of the universe, when Pachango the Creator first awoke on his divine pin pan pun, to when the cubanos and their fellow Latinics quite literally tumbled out of the waves and onto Miami’s shores. Along the way, you’ll learn answers to deep existential questions, such as: Where do croquetas come from? Who is the god of chisme? And why is everyone late to everything?
Non-Racist Latino Doesn’t Want His Daughter to Date a Black Guy
At the end of the day, I’m a just a forward-thinking, tolerant, accepting Latino who wants his non-existent daughter to be happy
White Family Can’t Understand Cuban Ghost Haunting Them
Lysol was mysteriously replaced with Fabuloso. Flying chancletas smacked their daughter when she misbehaved. The radio would randomly blast Ritmo 95.
God Turns Down Miami’s Temperature from Broil to Bake
Noticing Homestead and Aventura burning slightly, the Great Almighty switched the Celestial Oven Miami had been sitting in since April from broil to bake.
The Next Fast & Furious Movie Will Just Be 2 Hours of Footage of the Dolphin Expressway
The next Fast & Furious movie: “Supposably Faster, Literally Furiouser, Irregargdlessly SunPass, Bro” will be an ode to Miami driving culture.
Son of Immigrants Living on Native Land Colonized by Spain, Annexed by the U.S., Built by Bahamians, and Developed by Refugees Wants All the Foreigners to Leave
“I’m just tired of watching people who absolutely refuse to integrate into America pour over our borders,” explained a man whose grandparents fled a Caribbean dictatorship and spent 40 years in the United States without learning English.
How to Survive Driving in Miami 101
A handy tutorial on how to avoid death when driving in Miami, where 20-car pileups and golf club melees on the I-95 don’t even make the evening news
