a culturo-cosmic adventure
Just as the ancient Greeks, Egyptians, and Norse had their gods, villains, and heroes, Miami now has a legendary saga based on the hyperbolic surrealism that is living in South Florida. You will be introduced to a wholly unique universe with its own, often absurd, deities and norms—much like the city from which it’s inspired, and journey from the beginning of the universe, when Pachango the Creator first awoke on his divine pin pan pun, to when the cubanos and their fellow Latinics quite literally tumbled out of the waves and onto Miami’s shores. Along the way, you’ll learn answers to deep existential questions, such as: Where do croquetas come from? Who is the god of chisme? And why is everyone late to everything?
Miami Will Run Busses on Time as Art Basel Performance Piece
Upon inquiring whether the performance piece would be extended beyond Art Basel, Ms. Bravo laughed in my face.
Miami Makes Bro Its Official Pronoun
At the end of the day, I’m a just a forward-thinking, tolerant, accepting Latino who wants his non-existent daughter to be happy
Non-Racist Latino Doesn’t Want His Daughter to Date a Black Guy
At the end of the day, I’m a just a forward-thinking, tolerant, accepting Latino who wants his non-existent daughter to be happy
White Family Can’t Understand Cuban Ghost Haunting Them
Lysol was mysteriously replaced with Fabuloso. Flying chancletas smacked their daughter when she misbehaved. The radio would randomly blast Ritmo 95.
God Turns Down Miami’s Temperature from Broil to Bake
Noticing Homestead and Aventura burning slightly, the Great Almighty switched the Celestial Oven Miami had been sitting in since April from broil to bake.
The Next Fast & Furious Movie Will Just Be 2 Hours of Footage of the Dolphin Expressway
The next Fast & Furious movie: “Supposably Faster, Literally Furiouser, Irregargdlessly SunPass, Bro” will be an ode to Miami driving culture.
