Andrew Otazo Archives - Miami Creation Myth

A Letter to the Republican Party from a Moderate Cuban-American Voter

I stood in a voting booth on November 2008, my first admittance into the republic’s Holy of Hollies, completely at a loss. Both candidates were excellent choices. John McCain was a national hero, champion of international human rights, foreign policy expert, and...

Scientists Crack the Miami Exaggeration Scale

A multidisciplinary team of linguists, sociologists, mathematicians, and computer scientists announced they finally deciphered Miamians’ pathological penchant for hyperbole. 3,000 Miamians participated in a 20-year longitudinal study to ascertain exactly what they...

How Would My Cuban Refugee Family Fare if They Arrived in Trump’s America?

Most of my immediate family (parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles) arrived in the U.S. in the 1960s and 1970s. As refugees, they sought protection from Cuba’s authoritarian dictatorship and struggled for decades to stabilize themselves in their adopted country....

A Love Letter to Miami

Hi Miami, Andrew here. This is somewhat awkward. I know I critique you A LOT. There’s the article where I said you could go f*ck yourself… in the title. I also wrote that your bus system was composed of dilapidated mule carts, your drivers were suicidal maniacs, and...

Where Do White Latinos Belong in America?

I like to joke that I’m a Daywalker. For those who missed Wesley Snipes’ Oscar-worthy work in Blade, the term applies to vampires who can saunter about in sunlight without immediate incineration. The moniker fits because, as a White Latino, I move seamlessly through...

A Real Miami Ghost Story

Alec Enriquez moved into a haunted house. He was unaware of its ethereal nature at the time because he wasn’t an omniscient narrator. Nor did he read a recounting of his experiences written by said narrator, though that would be pretty freaky—for him, at least. No,...