Andrew Otazo Archives - Miami Creation Myth

Communitis Pandemic Devastates South Florida

“They’re under the bed! They’re under the bed!” yelled Alejandro Gomez. The middle-aged Cuban-American man rocked his gurney so violently that three burly nurses had to restrain him. “Sir, you are in Mercy’s Hospital’s emergency room,” said Dr. Dhruv Gupta. “You are...

Gov. Ron DeSantis Opens Florida’s Nuclear Waste Sites to Partygoers

Waves of chest-collapsing bass pulsed across a grassy field south of Homestead’s Turkey Point nuclear power plant. A crush of 20-somethings navigated around hundreds of steel drums filled with depleted uranium. Partygoers packed around a DJ booth playing big room...

Not Everything You Dislike Is Communist

This piece is directed at those who believe demands for racial justice, equal pay, climate action, LQBTQ rights, voting access, government accountability, immigration reform, and addressing other systemic societal ills are inherently communist. Strictly speaking,...

COVID Vector Visits Miami

A virulent COVID vector arrived in Miami this morning to yell at people in enclosed spaces. The vaguely man-shaped repository of several billion deadly microbes loudly exclaimed its disdain for mitigating the risk of mass contagion, thereby aerosolizing millions of...

I Have a Business Admin Degree from Barry and Here’s Why Wearing a Mask is Stupid

Forget what all these supposed “experts,” and “medical professionals,” and “doctors,” and “nurses” are spouting about COVID, because my B- in high school biology and 2.9 GPA from Barry University more than supersede their “diplomas” and “decades in their fields”...

Miami-Dade County Completes Invisible Metrorail Line to Miami Beach

Miami-Dade County Mayor Carlos Gimenez stood at the intersection of NE 10th Street and 2nd Ave with a pair of oversized scissors,. He beamed at an expectant gaggle of reporters. A light breeze whistled between the condos overhead. Gimenez had much to celebrate. After...