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Miami Welcomes Thousands of Tech Workers to Gentrification Conference

Miami Welcomes Thousands of Tech Workers to Gentrification Conference

Exclamations of, “This real estate is so undervalued!” and, “What’s up with all the brown people?” and, “Where’s the nearest Michelin Star restaurant?” reverberated off Wynwood’s world famous murals as approximately 11 thousand tech workers from across the bro-iness...
Miami Tech Bros’ Guide to Not Being Douchebags

Miami Tech Bros’ Guide to Not Being Douchebags

Yes, I made this map, and yes, I changed to title to make it more accurate. You’re a recently-arrived tech worker/venture capitalist/angel investor/entrepreneur driven to Miami’s shores by the promise of perennial sunshine, palm trees, and Cafecito Talks. You might...
ComemierdaCoin Makes Overnight Millionaires

ComemierdaCoin Makes Overnight Millionaires

Savvy investors are flocking to ComemierdaCoin, the hottest new cryptocurrency on the market, as Bitcoin, Doge, and Ethereum prices continue to crater. ComemierdaCoin quintupled in value to $2,487.44 over the last week, making millionaires out of speculative...
Miamians Stockpile Cafecito After Versailles Hack, Chaos Ensues

Miamians Stockpile Cafecito After Versailles Hack, Chaos Ensues

Acrid plumes of smoke belched from Miami’s burning skyline, obscuring a merciless midday sun. The Magic City warped into a diabolical funhouse reflection of its sunny marketing campaign as Mad Max shootouts raced through cratered avenues, mass human sacrifices took...