Miami Stories Archives - Miami Creation Myth

Florida Lawmakers Ban Lady Orgasms

Florida’s phallic Capitol Building. Republican members of Florida’s Senate and House of Representatives voted unanimously to legally ban all women in the state from experiencing any form sexual climax. The bill will now make its way to Governor Ron DeSantis’...

The Creation of the Miami Creation Myth

Oh, boy. It’s been a ride. The Miami Creation Myth’s genesis can be traced to 2016, a full seven years before the book’s publication, several thousand feet above the Earth’s surface, and probably somewhere over Oklahoma. My friend thought it’d be a great idea to...

Latino Guests Won’t Fucking Leave Holiday Party

Danielle Schubert crumpled onto her living room sofa, grasped her head in both hands, and screamed. 45 Venezuelans, Cubans, Colombians, Mexicans, and sundry other Latinos standing in her living room turned to see what the commotion was about, shrugged, and went back...

Real Men Vote for Feminists

Originally published in El Nuevo Herald and The New Tropic I love participating in “masculine” activities. It’s just how I’m wired. Removing 22,000 pounds of trash from Miami’s mangroves required lifting a whole lot of weight over my head. I also carried 35 pounds of...

Open-Minded Bro Doesn’t Like Public Displays of Affection Between Two Men

By: James Sacco & Andrew Otazo I want to make it crystal clear to all LGBTQ+ people out there that I can totally accept their lifestyles while also denying their very existence to children because, though I regularly ask toddlers with no concept of sexuality...

The True Behind the Lie: Does Climate Change in Miami?

Miami is in climate change is the most rumor in media now. Many anchors want to use curiosity to tell it’s true. But does Miami really in climate change? Thinking people assure it’s positively no. Many socialists are making people want to say rising oceans are a sign,...