¡Dímelo!

Honestly, I don’t need to know the difference between igneous and metamorphic rocks to be sure climate change isn’t real.

Ben Shapiro, the homophobic, climate-change-denying, Great Female Desiccator, met with City of Miami Mayor Francis Suarez.

Thousands of tech workers descended on Miami for the world’s first ever overtly pro Gentrification Conference.

A handy guide for recently-arrived Miami tech bros on how to not be perceived as douchebags by the natives.

Savvy investors are flocking to ComemierdaCoin, the hottest new cryptocurrency on the market.

Miami’s supposed cafecito shortage leads to full-blown chaos across the Magic City.

Miami-Dade County Mayor Daniella Levine Cava announced she had appointed Estelle Puig, a 72-year-old abuela of 12, as the region’s first Chief Comemierdería Officer.

Marlins Stadium’s abysmal attendance record was actually part of a decades-long plan to institute the strictest social distancing program in baseball.

Damien Hernandez, a 35-year-old sales rep and native Miamian, shuffled slightly to the side to avoid a jellyfish.

Many were unaccompanied college student who did not have family in the city or, apparently, parents who instilled a healthy fear of the chancleta.

“Happy Saint Patty’s everyone!” yelled Fanjul at a crowd as they stumbled past him, desperately fleeing a noxious cloud swept inshore by the wind.