The Miami Creation Myth Sells Out

Even when injured, dehydrated, moments from heat stroke, one wish kept me from collapsing into the mud forever: selling shirts to papi chulos.

ICE Deports Marco Rubio

“I’m the Secretary of State!” yelled a short, tubby man with a Miami accent. He shook his bars as the dozen other people in his cell grinned.

Every Bro You’ll Meet in a Miami Club

A comprehensive guide of the many types of Miami bros one is liable to encounter in da clurb.

The Joy of Selling My 1,000th Book

Two years ago, when I self-published a silly little book titled The Miami Creation Myth, I set the goal of selling 1,000 copies.

¡Dímelo!

Only in Miami Stories from The Miami Creation Myth

The Many Meanings of Coño

The Many Meanings of Coño

Today we will explore the Swiss army knife of Spanish obscenity, the T-1000 of casual expletives, the most flexible, versatile swear word in the Spanish lexicon: “coño.”

Royal Caribbean Declares Corona Its Official Beer

Royal Caribbean Declares Corona Its Official Beer

“I’m so excited to announce our latest collaboration I know you’ll absolutely love!” his voice rose excitedly. “A melding of two fun, tropical brands! Buh, buh, buh,” he waved away several raised hands. “I’m only taking questions at the end. You’re gonna want to hear this.”

Tourists Enrage Miamians by Obeying Traffic Laws

Tourists Enrage Miamians by Obeying Traffic Laws

Miamians fumed over Super Bowl tourists’ unfathomable tendency to obey posted traffic laws. Drivers came to complete halts at stop signs, decelerated in school zones, and most infuriatingly, drove below the speed limit.