The Difficulty of Satirizing MAGA

When they go low, we satirists must wantonly slam our heads into the ground until we tunnel to the other side of the planet. 

Why I Removed 30,000 Pounds of Trash from the Mangroves

I made it, everyone! The Dirty Thirty. The Double Quinceañera. 30,000 pounds of trash.

The Miami Creation Myth Sells Out

Even when injured, dehydrated, moments from heat stroke, one wish kept me from collapsing into the mud forever: selling shirts to papi chulos.

ICE Deports Marco Rubio

“I’m the Secretary of State!” yelled a short, tubby man with a Miami accent. He shook his bars as the dozen other people in his cell grinned.

¡Dímelo!

Only in Miami Stories from The Miami Creation Myth

An Open Letter to Coronavirus from Miami

An Open Letter to Coronavirus from Miami

Welcome to Miami. And by “welcome,” I mean “please put a Clorox-soaked bullet in your head and bury yourself in the Everglades,” but we’re all about social tact in South Florida.

Royal Caribbean Declares Corona Its Official Beer

Royal Caribbean Declares Corona Its Official Beer

“I’m so excited to announce our latest collaboration I know you’ll absolutely love!” his voice rose excitedly. “A melding of two fun, tropical brands! Buh, buh, buh,” he waved away several raised hands. “I’m only taking questions at the end. You’re gonna want to hear this.”

The Many Meanings of Coño

The Many Meanings of Coño

Today we will explore the Swiss army knife of Spanish obscenity, the T-1000 of casual expletives, the most flexible, versatile swear word in the Spanish lexicon: “coño.”

Tourists Enrage Miamians by Obeying Traffic Laws

Tourists Enrage Miamians by Obeying Traffic Laws

Miamians fumed over Super Bowl tourists’ unfathomable tendency to obey posted traffic laws. Drivers came to complete halts at stop signs, decelerated in school zones, and most infuriatingly, drove below the speed limit.