¡Dímelo!
Only in Miami Stories from The Miami Creation Myth
Take the Miami Masochist Tour!
Forget Lincoln Road, Bayside Marketplace, and Wynwood, and experience Miami like a true local!
Fisher Island Deploys Laser Sharks to Keep Out “the Poors”
Within three days of their deployment, the marine predators had sunk 23 vessels in Government and Norris Cut, completely shutting down the port of Miami.
Why We All Speak Mexican
“If you insist on speaking Mexican, could you at least keep it down?” asked the gentleman. “My family and I are trying to have a pleasant afternoon, and you are most certainly ruining it.”
Brickell Resident is Kind of a Douche
Despite our introduction by a mutual friend over a year ago, Green adamantly proclaims that she is quite unacquainted with anyone born in Miami-Dade County.
How to Drive Like a Miami Douchebag
Did Samuel Adams pay the Stamp Tax? Hell no! Don’t you dare yield a right turn to a pedestrian, you goddamn patriot.
Two Miamians Die Climbing Mount Tropical Park
The two climbers began their journey with a larger group but, unfortunately, not all made it to the summit.
How to Not be a Douchebag to Cuban-Americans
A (by no means exhaustive) list of things I believe strangers who do not have “confianza” with a particular Cuban-American should not mention unless they wish to come off as paradigmatic douchebags.
Brickell Residents at Higher Risk of Being Assholes
The University of Miami Miller School of Medicine today published the findings of a longitudinal study that found Brickell residents are 112% more likely to be assholes than control group Miamians.
Don Francisco Turns 832 Years Old
Beloved Chilean TV host, actor, and philanthropist Luis Kreutzberger Blumenfeld, better known as Don Francisco, turned 832 years old today.
Miami Declared Clinically Insane
The American Psychological Association today published an unprecedented report declaring Miami-Dade County “dangerously unstable,” adding that it “should be immediately committed to an asylum for its own and others’ safety.”
Walter Mercado Joins The Avengers
The Avengers deployed Shanti Ananda, also known as Walter Mercado, during their last battle.
Bad Advice for New Graduates
Horrible advice for recent grads.
