FL Governor Insists It’s Only Hot Because People Keep Checking Their Thermometers
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis swayed under a noonday sun outside Tallahassee’s Capitol Complex. He wore a pained expression and dark suit he’d perspired clean through.
It’s Time Millennials Killed Miami’s Political System
About 20 years ago, Boomers and Gen Xers began eyeing my generation with a mix of confusion, exasperation, and more than a hint of panic. Simultaneously, those born between 1980 and 1994 took a solid look at how their elders generally did things and decided, “No thanks, we’ll pass.”
2020 Will End in June
“Maaaaaan, fuck this year!” exclaimed Dr. Robert Elkridge, Ph.D., Director of the International Bureau of Weights and Measures.
El mismo odioso refrán
Ni sé si lo ven, si saben que están,
Cantando el mismo odioso refrán,
Their parents drowned out with a furious yell,
“Miami’s our home, and you go to hell!”
Miami Latinos’ Racism is the Height of Hypocrisy
Spic. Janitor. Fidel. Drug dealer. Communist. Rafter. Affirmative action poser. Scarface. Boat rower. Lettuce picker. Lawn service. Shark food. Spot-stealer (of a deserving non-Hispanic White). These are some of the many insults hurled at me by White Cadets after leaving Miami to attend the United State Military Academy at West Point.
Miamians Should Be Proud, But Also, Fuck This City
If you think this is another hit piece laying out how Miami is superficial, and vacuous, and immature, and petty, and etc., and etc., well, it’s not. Neither the article nor the city.
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Read the Award-Winning, Culturo-Cosmic Adventure
“A Seussian, unfiltered take on the fabled origins of the cultural contradiction that is Miami. Pepito meets Paul Bunyan. Hilariously poignant but biting critique of the frustration of living in present day Miami and why things are why they are.”
“Every great city deserves a great foundational myth. Miami wants to be a great city but this collection of stories leaves nothing to be desired. It’s hilarious, raunchy, and uplifting.”
“This book is for you if you can see Miami as what we are and what we can be, and if yours is a seriously silly sense of humor. Andrew Otazo loves and knows Miami—wackiness to wisdom. He writes very well.”
“It takes readers on a bilingual, psychedelic, eco-conscious odyssey.”
“Out of this world… The Miami Creation Myth is filled with laughs and vivid visuals.”
“While Otazo celebrates Miami with humor, he also takes on more serious issues facing our community.”
¡Ñoooooooo que Audiobook!
