Writing is Better than Cafecito
I know you’re used to me writing silly articles about traffic, or racists, or pastelitos, but I figured I’d pull back the curtain, mix my metaphors, and show how the literary sausage is made. In three words: it’s really hard.
Miami Upgrades Bus Fleet to Mule Carts
Miami-Dade County Transportation & Public Works announced it completed a multi-year, $20 million program to replace its public buses with mule-drawn carts.
Brickell Condos Market to Rich International Criminals
Located in the bustling heart of Downtown Miami, a gleaming Brickell condo is the perfect security box with a view.
Miami Politicians Ask Constituents to Go Fuck Themselves
All Miami politicians signed a letter asking their constituents to take a long, metaphorical walk off a short pier. It can be read in full below. Dear Miamians, Fuck you. We don’t give a shit about your petty little lives. We never did. You expected us to represent...
Racists Upset that Some Hispanics Look White
“I gathered you today to discuss a topic that’s been bothering me and my brethren,” began Evinger. “As you know, we don’t hate spicks. We just want them to stay in their own spick countries and not pollute the purity of our race with their mongrel, half-jungle bunny, half-injun, half-God-knows-what bloodlines.”
Cuban-Americans (Somewhat) Explained
This article is therefore directed at those 317 million other individuals in the U.S. who are not members of the Cuban-American community, but might curious to learn about us.
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“A Seussian, unfiltered take on the fabled origins of the cultural contradiction that is Miami. Pepito meets Paul Bunyan. Hilariously poignant but biting critique of the frustration of living in present day Miami and why things are why they are.”
“Every great city deserves a great foundational myth. Miami wants to be a great city but this collection of stories leaves nothing to be desired. It’s hilarious, raunchy, and uplifting.”
“This book is for you if you can see Miami as what we are and what we can be, and if yours is a seriously silly sense of humor. Andrew Otazo loves and knows Miami—wackiness to wisdom. He writes very well.”
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“While Otazo celebrates Miami with humor, he also takes on more serious issues facing our community.”
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