Miami Driver Would Rather Kill His Entire Family Than Let You into His Lane
He has a wife named Gloria, a three-year-old daughter named Estefani, they’re both in the car, and not a single one of them gives a flying fuck about you.
Royal Caribbean Declares Corona Its Official Beer
“I’m so excited to announce our latest collaboration I know you’ll absolutely love!” his voice rose excitedly. “A melding of two fun, tropical brands! Buh, buh, buh,” he waved away several raised hands. “I’m only taking questions at the end. You’re gonna want to hear this.”
Miamian Claims to Love Winter Weather Because She Sets Her AC to 70
She wore jeans, riding boots, two cardigans, and a beanie. It was 75 degrees.
The Many Meanings of Coño
Today we will explore the Swiss army knife of Spanish obscenity, the T-1000 of casual expletives, the most flexible, versatile swear word in the Spanish lexicon: “coño.”
Miami Marathon Runners are Just Running from a Flying Cockroach
Tens of thousands of screaming Miamians poured out of Downtown skyscrapers in the predawn hours and sprinted toward MacArthur Causeway upon hearing that a flying cockroach was spotted around Bayfront Park.
Tourists Enrage Miamians by Obeying Traffic Laws
Miamians fumed over Super Bowl tourists’ unfathomable tendency to obey posted traffic laws. Drivers came to complete halts at stop signs, decelerated in school zones, and most infuriatingly, drove below the speed limit.
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Read the Award-Winning, Culturo-Cosmic Adventure
“A Seussian, unfiltered take on the fabled origins of the cultural contradiction that is Miami. Pepito meets Paul Bunyan. Hilariously poignant but biting critique of the frustration of living in present day Miami and why things are why they are.”
“Every great city deserves a great foundational myth. Miami wants to be a great city but this collection of stories leaves nothing to be desired. It’s hilarious, raunchy, and uplifting.”
“This book is for you if you can see Miami as what we are and what we can be, and if yours is a seriously silly sense of humor. Andrew Otazo loves and knows Miami—wackiness to wisdom. He writes very well.”
“It takes readers on a bilingual, psychedelic, eco-conscious odyssey.”
“Out of this world… The Miami Creation Myth is filled with laughs and vivid visuals.”
“While Otazo celebrates Miami with humor, he also takes on more serious issues facing our community.”
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