Marlins Stadium Secretly Enforced Social Distancing Since 2012
Marlins Stadium’s abysmal attendance record was actually part of a decades-long plan to institute the strictest social distancing program in baseball.
Miamian Standing in Knee-Deep Seawater Unconvinced Climate Change is Real
Damien Hernandez, a 35-year-old sales rep and native Miamian, shuffled slightly to the side to avoid a jellyfish.
Miami Deports Thousands of Spring Breakers to America
Many were unaccompanied college student who did not have family in the city or, apparently, parents who instilled a healthy fear of the chancleta.
Amphibious Spring Break Invasion Overruns Miami Beach
Through collapsing buildings, past abandoned checkpoints, trampling over the comatose bodies of their compatriots, they came.
Florida Crystals Releases Green Algae Across State to Celebrate Saint Patty’s Day
“Happy Saint Patty’s everyone!” yelled Fanjul at a crowd as they stumbled past him, desperately fleeing a noxious cloud swept inshore by the wind.
Why Tech Will Magically Solve All of Miami’s Problems
Yo, have you even seen how many incredible tech companies, venture capitalists, and angel investors have been moving to Miami
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