Just another Miami winter day.

Jasmin Alfonso collapsed onto the sidewalk on the corner of SW 13th Street and 2nd Avenue. Despite temperatures peaking in the 80s on a particularly balmy Miami winter afternoon, Alfonso sported knee-high riding heels, a cashmere scarf, and Cole Haan Wrap Coat buttoned to the throat. Paramedics reported that she repeatedly mumbled, “It’s boot weather… It’s boot weather…” while wheeled into an ambulance.

I sought out Alfonso’s best friend, Yaya Concepción, to gain greater insight into why one would wear such unseasonably warm clothing in Miami. When we met in Brickell City Centre’s second floor patio, Concepción wore a camel overcoat, fur-lined boots, and an oversized wool cap. It was 79 degrees.

“I’ve got half a closet full of winter clothes,” explained Concepción as dark sweat stains advanced down her armpits and neck. “Scarves, jackets, hats, boots. And I never get to wear them! You better believe I’m throwing it all on the second I feel the slightest, non-suffocating breeze from the north. 75 degrees is the closest thing we get to winter in Miami.”

I checked in with Gloria Valdes, the on-call floor nurse at Mercy Hospital, to ascertain Alfonso’s current state.

“She’ll be fine,” Valdes. “She just needs an IV and to stop dressing like an idiot.”

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Andrew OtazoAndrew Otazo

'Miami Creation Myth' author Andrew Otazo has advised officials on Cuba policy, worked for the Mexican president, fired a tank, and ran with 30lbs of trash.

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