Florida Secedes from Miami
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis today announced that he no longer recognizes Miami-Dade County as residing within state borders, effectively formalizing a Florida secession. “We’re fed up with Miami!” declared DeSantis, repeatedly slamming his fist on the podium at a...
Miami Party Breaks Sound Barrier
The shockwave uprooted palm trees, overturned trucks, and flattened houses across Miami’s West Kendall neighborhood. Unsuspecting pedestrians flew dozens of feet through the air. Children and pets were blasted into the atmosphere, never to be seen again. The sharp...
Surgeon General Issues Warning About Cuban Coffee in Miami
The U.S. Surgeon General warned consumers that excessive consumption of Cuban coffee in Miami can have diverse deleterious and anomalous effects on their health. These include, but are not limited to: Excessive energyDifficulty falling asleepUncontrollable shaking...
The Secret to the Perfect Cafecito
Miami’s caffeine cowgirls, the vaunted ventanita ladies, generously decided to share their occult cafecito secrets with The Miami Creation Myth. The following is a detailed, step-by-step description for how to make the perfect cafecito, according to their...
Latina Suffers Existential Crisis After Bungling Her Spanish
Jessie González, whose parents are both Peruvian immigrants, clutched her knees and rocked herself on a tile bathroom floor, convinced she was too embarrassed to speak Spanish ever again. “Rebaja…rebaja…rebaja…” she muttered, staring unblinkingly at an adjacent wall....New Ebook
Totally Ridiculous. 100% Miami.
Read Ch. 1
Checkout the first chapter of 'The Miami Creation Myth.'
