Miami-Dade County Completes Invisible Metrorail to Miami Beach
The Transparent Line will connect to Metrorail’s Ethereal Line, which runs from Brickell to FIU, and the Intangible Line uniting Downtown Miami with Fort Lauderdale.
Miami Heat Responsible for Citywide Pot and Pan Shortage
When asked why he was banging two cast iron skillets over his head, Eusebio Jamil, a 25-year-old Cuban émigré responded with, “Porque uno no hace suficiente ruido ¡coño!” before bounding into the crowd.
Being Anti-Communist Doesn’t Mean You’re Pro-Democracy
Anti-communism only communicates one’s aversion to a largely discredited economic system. That’s it. It is wholly decoupled from righteousness, national loyalty, or support for democracy.
A Letter to the Republican Party from a Moderate Cuban American Voter
As a moderate, I want the party to implode under the weight of its own self-interested idiocy for the very selfish reason that I would like to vote for it in the future.
Scientists Crack the Miami Exaggeration Scale
A multidisciplinary team of linguists, sociologists, mathematicians, and computer scientists announced they finally deciphered Miamians’ pathological penchant for hyperbole.
How Would My Cuban Family Fare if They Arrived in Trump’s America?
Lately, I’ve been immersed in a thought experiment. What if the Cuban Revolution played out during Trump’s tenure in office? How would my family be treated?
Now Available
Read the Award-Winning, Culturo-Cosmic Adventure“A Seussian, unfiltered take on the fabled origins of the cultural contradiction that is Miami. Pepito meets Paul Bunyan. Hilariously poignant but biting critique of the frustration of living in present day Miami and why things are why they are.”
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“While Otazo celebrates Miami with humor, he also takes on more serious issues facing our community.”