Being Anti-Communist Doesn’t Mean You’re Pro-Democracy

Being Anti-Communist Doesn’t Mean You’re Pro-Democracy

Let’s play a game. Scroll through my comments section and take a shot of tequila whenever someone calls me a communist for supporting LGBTQ+ rights, or asking people to be a little less racist, or—and you died of alcohol poisoning. If I mixed my metaphors every time...
Scientists Crack the Miami Exaggeration Scale

Scientists Crack the Miami Exaggeration Scale

A multidisciplinary team of linguists, sociologists, mathematicians, and computer scientists announced they finally deciphered the Miami exaggeration scale. 3,000 Miamians participated in a 20-year longitudinal study to ascertain exactly what they meant when saying...
A Love Letter to Miami

A Love Letter to Miami

Hi Miami,Andrew here. This is somewhat awkward. I know I critique you A LOT. There’s the article where I said you could go f*ck yourself… in the title. I also wrote that your bus system was composed of dilapidated mule carts, your drivers were suicidal maniacs, and no...
Where Do White Latinos Belong in America?

Where Do White Latinos Belong in America?

I like to joke that I’m a Daywalker. For those who missed Wesley Snipes’ Oscar-worthy work in Blade, the term applies to vampires who can saunter about in sunlight without immediate incineration. The moniker fits because White Latinos move seamlessly through two...