Miamians Stockpile Cafecito After Versailles Hack, Chaos Ensues
Acrid plumes of smoke belched from Miami’s burning skyline, obscuring a merciless midday sun. The Magic City warped into a diabolical funhouse reflection of its sunny marketing campaign as Mad Max shootouts raced through cratered avenues, mass human sacrifices took...
Miami Appoints Chief Comemierdería Officer
Miami-Dade County Mayor Daniella Levine Cava announced she had appointed Estelle Puig, a 72-year-old abuela of 12, as the region’s first Chief Comemierdería Officer. Beyond tackling Miami’s skyrocketing comemierdería epidemic, Puig will also be responsible for tamping...
Marlins Stadium Secretly Enforced Social Distancing Since 2012
Miami Marlins owner Bruce Sherman stormed up a flight of stairs along LoanDepot Park’s first base line, his face red with exertion and anger. The Marlins were four innings into a game with the Dodgers, though few fans knew it, as the only two in sight sat five rows...
Miamian Standing in Knee-Deep Seawater Unconvinced Climate Change is Real
Damien Hernandez, a 35-year-old sales rep and native Miamian, shuffled to the side to avoid a jellyfish. “Yeah, you know, I’m just not all that sure climate change isn’t a hoax,” he asserted. A shallow wave rolled over Bayfront Park’s concrete seawall, soaking the...
Miami Deports Thousands of Spring Breakers to America
Several thousand American tourists squinted in the early morning light as they exited Krome Detention Center and boarded busses headed for the Broward County border. This followed a broad crackdown across Miami on Americans who migrated over Spring Break without a...New Ebook
Totally Ridiculous. 100% Miami.
Read Ch. 1
Checkout the first chapter of 'The Miami Creation Myth.'
