Fisher Island Deploys Laser Sharks to Keep Out “the Poors”
Within three days of their deployment, the marine predators had sunk 23 vessels in Government and Norris Cut, completely shutting down the port of Miami.
Why We All Speak Mexican
“If you insist on speaking Mexican, could you at least keep it down?” asked the gentleman. “My family and I are trying to have a pleasant afternoon, and you are most certainly ruining it.”
Brickell Resident is Kind of a Douche
Despite our introduction by a mutual friend over a year ago, Green adamantly proclaims that she is quite unacquainted with anyone born in Miami-Dade County.
How to Drive Like a Miami Douchebag
Did Samuel Adams pay the Stamp Tax? Hell no! Don’t you dare yield a right turn to a pedestrian, you goddamn patriot.
Two Miamians Die Climbing Mount Tropical Park
The two climbers began their journey with a larger group but, unfortunately, not all made it to the summit.
How to Not be a Douchebag to Cuban-Americans
A (by no means exhaustive) list of things I believe strangers who do not have “confianza” with a particular Cuban-American should not mention unless they wish to come off as paradigmatic douchebags.
Now Available
Read the Award-Winning, Culturo-Cosmic Adventure
“A Seussian, unfiltered take on the fabled origins of the cultural contradiction that is Miami. Pepito meets Paul Bunyan. Hilariously poignant but biting critique of the frustration of living in present day Miami and why things are why they are.”
“Every great city deserves a great foundational myth. Miami wants to be a great city but this collection of stories leaves nothing to be desired. It’s hilarious, raunchy, and uplifting.”
“This book is for you if you can see Miami as what we are and what we can be, and if yours is a seriously silly sense of humor. Andrew Otazo loves and knows Miami—wackiness to wisdom. He writes very well.”
“It takes readers on a bilingual, psychedelic, eco-conscious odyssey.”
“Out of this world… The Miami Creation Myth is filled with laughs and vivid visuals.”
“While Otazo celebrates Miami with humor, he also takes on more serious issues facing our community.”
¡Ñoooooooo que Audiobook!
