Only in Miami Stories from The Miami Creation Myth

Instead of public bullet trains, Floridians purchases outrageously expensive tickets to travel the country’s killing-est locomotive from South to Central Florida.

Looking around the stage, Cynthia was certain she was the only one who hadn’t had any work done.

Shrieking tires echoed up and down the hall while a corner DJ booth pumped Danish electro-funk into the cavernous space.

Good morning, partisan populists, patriarchs, and pussy pounders, and welcome to the Panhandle Patriot Podcast!

Cynthia awoke to 238 missed emails, 186 missed calls, and 502 missed text messages.

Governor Santos had lined up the entire, eight-man Thing squad shoulder to shoulder against the back wall of her office.

Monica Castellanos lived in a van parked in an Atlanta campground.

Cynthia spent 20 minutes convincing a pair of police officers that, no, she wasn’t the victim of an attempted murder.

400 miles back south, a woman in a Midtown Miami apartment gave a celebratory yell so loud that three different neighbors called the cops.

The following morning, Cynthia found a new folder on her desktop.