Only in Miami Stories from The Miami Creation Myth

The following morning, Cynthia found a new folder on her desktop.

A woman shifted on the crinkly paper pulled across the examination couch, a perturbed look on her face, staring at the “Beware of Eye Syphilis” poster.

Carlos sidestepped to the left, so Cynthia sidestepped to the left. He shifted back to the right and she mirrored his move. She gave him a nervous smile.

By the time Carlos powerwalked offstage, head down, ramrod in his pants swaying left and right with each step, the crowd was in a near-mutinous clamor.

By the time Carlos powerwalked offstage, head down, ramrod in his pants swaying left and right with each step, the crowd was in a near-mutinous clamor.

Daniel Cypress was having a rough morning.

Florida Governor Rhonda Santos sat in her mahogany paneled office behind a monolithic block of wood consciously modeled off the presidential Resolute Desk.

Florida Governor Rhonda Santos sat in her mahogany paneled office behind a monolithic block of wood consciously modeled off the presidential Resolute Desk.

The ground cantankerously growled, then it groused, then it grumbled, and then, after several hours of geologic griping, it finally shook for 30 seconds.

Despite innumerable Brooklynites’ assertions that Miami’s recorded history began in 2022 when it acquired a cybertronic bull statue used to shill crypto scams, Seabreeze Ridge’s story—like the rest of South Florida’s—dated back thousands of years.