Pandemonium in Costco as Miamians Fight to Return Hurricane Supplies
The customer service line snaked out the store and five hundred feet into the parking lot as patrons fought to return their Costco hurricane supplies.. Four days ago, consumers engaged in all-out brawls over the last pallets of bran muffins, two-pound bags of jolly...
Hurricane Dorian Declared a Category 5 Douchebag
The Institute of Assholery Awareness (IAA) today designated Hurricane Dorian a full-blown Category 5 douche. “Dorian is causing widespread emotional, psychological, and physical devastation across its path,” explained Cynthia Almeida, IAA’s Executive Director. “It has...
Miamians Return to their Normal Level of Crazy
A palpable sense of relief descended on South Florida as it seemed the region would be spared the worst effects of Hurricane Dorian. No longer would Miamians instigate fights in Publix, enter shouting matches at gas stations, and run each other off the road because of...
Miami Whole Foods Riot Leaves 14 Dead
“I’ll kill you for that Fiji water!” yelled Leslie Albeck, a 44-year-old housewife swinging a battle axe at a rival shopper. Her opponent, 32-year-old Alfred Urrechaga, blocked the blow with a shield and counterattacked with his broadsword. “Drink Fiji in hell!” he...
Floridians Frantically Stock Up on Hurricane Memes
Residents across the Sunshine State braced for an impending hurricane by filling gas tanks, buying water, and furiously stocking up on Florida hurricane memes. A Home Depot parking lot in Boca Raton was filled to capacity with idling vehicles. Their owners stared...New Ebook
Totally Ridiculous. 100% Miami.
Read Ch. 1
Checkout the first chapter of 'The Miami Creation Myth.'
