The Difficulty of Satirizing MAGA
Why I Removed 30,000 Pounds of Trash from the Mangroves
The Miami Creation Myth Sells Out
ICE Deports Marco Rubio
Every Bro You’ll Meet in a Miami Club
The Joy of Selling My 1,000th Book
Cubans’ Shift to MAGA is Rooted in Trauma & Anger
Take the Miami Gentrification Tour!
I Really Don’t Want to Be a Climate Refugee
What It Means to Write Miami Satire in Trump’s Miami
Brickell Condos Market to Rich International Criminals

Brickell Condos Market to Rich International Criminals

Are you an oligarch who recently fell out of favor with your ruling strongman? Are the proles protesting your family’s generations of accumulated atrocities? Did you accidentally siphon too much money from a state-owned company? Are you pursued by some pesky...
Miami Politicians Ask Constituents to Go Fuck Themselves

Miami Politicians Ask Constituents to Go Fuck Themselves

All Miami politicians signed a letter asking their constituents to take a long, metaphorical walk off a short pier. It can be read in full below. Dear Miamians, Fuck you. We don’t give a shit about your petty little lives. We never did. You expected us to represent...
Racists Upset that Some Hispanics Look White

Racists Upset that Some Hispanics Look White

Chris Evinger, Executive Director of Americans for a Pure America (APA)—an avowed White supremacist group—strode to a podium before a gaggle of reporters. He sported a crew cut, khaki pants, and white polo shirt. Evinger’s ruddy complexion turned progressively redder...
Cuban-Americans (Somewhat) Explained

Cuban-Americans (Somewhat) Explained

I received a surprising amount of feedback following a piece titled How Not to be a Douchebag to Cuban-Americans. Much of it was fantastic. Thousands commented on how they related to my frustrations. However, a sizeable portion of the responses were (unsurprisingly,...
A Brief Racial Introduction to Miami

A Brief Racial Introduction to Miami

You just moved to Miami. Hooray! What should you expect? Much of that depends on your ethnic background. Let’s delve into your possible experiences. Latinos Congratulations, you reached Hispanic Valhalla. Reggaeton, salsa, bachata, and cumbia blast from stores,...
Atlantis Worried About Becoming the Next Miami

Atlantis Worried About Becoming the Next Miami

Xenophon the Magnificent, Supreme Protector and Sovereign Lord of Atlantis, is worried that his island nation in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean could soon go the way of South Florida. “Anyone can see the writing on the wall,” began the Atlantean King. He stroked his...