A Beginner’s Guide to Miami’s Dialect
Given Miami’s recent designation as the wellspring of a new dialect, we here at The Miami Creation Myth have taken it upon ourselves to translate some of South Florida’s most common phrases into English. MiamianEnglishI’m parking.I just got out of...
Miamian Horrified to Learn Snow is Just Really Cold Water
“What the fuck is this shit??” exclaimed Emmanuel Bossou, who was clearly underdressed as he braced against a Breckenridge, CO blizzard in a Miami Heat hoodie, jeans, and sneakers. A driving gale blew sheaths of snow into his grimacing face. “This is bullshit!” Bossou...
Racist Abuelo’s New Year’s Resolution is to Be as Racist as Last Year
Alberto Rodriguez (aged 82), grandfather to Susan and Emilio Rodriguez (aged 17 and 22, respectively), confirmed to his progeny this past Thursday that he’d be just as racist next year as during the previous 12 months. The fact that he was an immigrant and member of...
Miamians Burn Down Marlins Stadium to “Keep Warm”
Thousands of exultant Miamians threw gasoline and broken furniture into Marlins Stadium, fueling an inferno that quickly enveloped the arena. Flames leapt hundreds of feet into the cool night air through the retracted roof, lighting the gleeful faces of children,...
Cuban Undergoes Surgery to Remove Papa en la Boca
Eugenio Batista (aged 52) gave a thumbs up from his hospital bed after undergoing a 15-hour round-the-clock surgery to remove a potato that had been lodged in his lower mandible since infancy. Surrounded by family, friends, and well-wishers, he seemed in good cheer....New Ebook
Totally Ridiculous. 100% Miami.
Read Ch. 1
Checkout the first chapter of 'The Miami Creation Myth.'
