Miamians Burn Down Marlins Stadium to “Keep Warm”

Miamians Burn Down Marlins Stadium to “Keep Warm”

Thousands of exultant Miamians threw gasoline and broken furniture into Marlins Stadium, fueling an inferno that quickly enveloped the arena. Flames leapt hundreds of feet into the cool night air through the retracted roof, lighting the gleeful faces of children,...
Cuban Undergoes Surgery to Remove Papa en la Boca

Cuban Undergoes Surgery to Remove Papa en la Boca

Eugenio Batista (aged 52) gave a thumbs up from his hospital bed after undergoing a 15-hour round-the-clock surgery to remove a potato that had been lodged in his lower mandible since infancy. Surrounded by family, friends, and well-wishers, he seemed in good cheer....
Blank Wynwood Wall Accidentally Sells for $2 Million at Art Basel

Blank Wynwood Wall Accidentally Sells for $2 Million at Art Basel

The side of an abandoned warehouse on the corner of NW 26th St and 5th Ave sold for $2 million on the final day of Miami’s Art Basel festival. The untitled work by an anonymous artist measures 10 by 20 feet and has no discernible features other than a pealing coat of...
Hole in the Ground Sells for $5 Million at Art Basel

Hole in the Ground Sells for $5 Million at Art Basel

Wynwood’s high-end Eponymous art gallery set a new purchase record when it sold Jeffrey Edelman’s “Ungrounded” for $5 million. The multimedia piece is composed of soil, rock, and air, as it is a two-foot-deep hole the artist dug in his backyard. “It signifies the deep...
Miami Will Run Buses On Time as Art Basel Performance Piece

Miami Will Run Buses On Time as Art Basel Performance Piece

I sat down with Alice Bravo, Miami-Dade County’s Transit Director, to ask why her organization chose to take the unprecedented step of running its buses on time as an Art Basel performance piece. “We wanted to think big! Bold! Do something that’s never been done in...
Broward County Declares a State of Overreaction

Broward County Declares a State of Overreaction

Mayor Mark D. Bogen psyched himself up to address a conference room of reporters about an impending Broward County cold front. He wore a full suit of plate armor, three bandoliers of bullets, five grenades, a Bowie knife, and a backpack holding 20 days of...