So, you’re a recent arrival to Miami and a bit shocked by the incessant talk about the Magic City’s existential communist infestation. Everywhere you turn—the ventanita, the radio, WhatsApp, YouTube, conversations with casual acquaintances— you hear about Marxists...
Some believe Cuban dominoes is a contest of high-level strategy, instant mathematical calculation, and gut intuition. They’re right, of course, but they’re also dead wrong. In its purest form, Cuban dominoes is a vehicle para hablar mierda, a psychological battle...
Siiiiiigh. It’s wild I have to do this, but no, the rumor Donald Trump spread during a nationally televised presidential debate that Haitian immigrants are eating pets in Springfield, Ohio is not true. The fact that sentence with those words in that order exists is...
Former President and Presently Convicted Felon Donald Trump, shoved a three-foot-long branch into an underground burrow occupied by a slumbering Florida Governor Ron DeSantis. “Hey! Hey, you slimy, spineless reptile! Get out here!” cried Trump, prodding DeSantis in...
The following op-ed/extortion note was written by Brightline CEO, Michael Reininger. Hey yo, I hear lots of yous complainin’ dat Brightline just raised prices 251% to $1,400 for 40 tickets but I really really don’t think yous know how good yous gots it. Sure,...
As has been thoroughly documented, “bro” is Miami’s official gender-neutral pronoun. Are you a straight, cis-gendered man? You’re a bro. How about a cis woman? Also a bro. Trans man? Still a bro. Twin sister? You guessed it, you’re a bro. 55-year-old mother of four?...