This book is based on real events. Only the people, places, and events are fictionalized. The stupidity is 100% real.
Cynthia paced the sidewalk in an outfit she hoped broadcast she was sexy, but intelligent, but professional, but not trying too hard. If passersby on the busy street bothered to look at her, they probably just thought she looked like a woman in jeans and a crop top. She had an AirPod in her ear through which bluebunny gave her instructions.
“This guy’s a hermit,” said bluebunny. “He barely leaves his apartment, doesn’t have a social life, and doesn’t seem to have friends in the city. He’s probably depressed.”
“I don’t understand why,” replied Cynthia. “He’s got all the money in the world.”
Cynthia dodged a rollerblader speeding down the sidewalk.
“Yeah, but money can’t buy you happiness,” responded bluebunny.
They both paused and burst into laughter.
“It sure helps, though!” declared Cynthia.
“Hell yes,” agreed bluebunny. “Anyway, Carlos runs like clockwork. He does the same thing every day at the same time. He should come walking in your direction in about ten minutes. He also always wears the same thing: a gray hoodie, gray shorts…”
“Sunglasses and a facemask?” interrupted Cynthia.
“Yeah, how’d you know?”
“Because he’s walking in my direction right now!” whisper-shouted Cynthia.
Carlos strolled briskly toward her, eyes forward, arms pumping, about 50 feet away.
“What do I do?” panicked Cynthia.
“I don’t fucking know!” replied bluebunny. “You have to convince him to join you! Didn’t you have something prepared to say?”
“You said I had another 10 minutes!” fired back Cynthia. “I thought I still had time to put it together! You said he runs like clockwork!”
Carlos was 20 feet away and closing fast. The man could really move.
“Well, do something because he’s about to blow by you,” warned bluebunny.
Cynthia’s mind was blank. It was more like a black hole: thoughts were incapable of escaping her subconscious. The few, incongruous notions and concepts that fought desperately to surface were simply sucked back into that subliminal singularity, every trace of their existence blighted from the universe forever.
Cynthia was in full-blown deer in the headlights mode as Carlos came within five feet. So, before he could charge past her, she simply reacted and stepped in his way.
Carlos was jolted out of his powerwalking flow state by this unexpected human obstacle. He gave her a brief, questioning look.
Carlos sidestepped to the left, so Cynthia sidestepped to the left. He shifted back to the right and she mirrored his move. She gave him a nervous smile. Carlos, now a bit frustrated, tried juking back to the left when, unable to concoct a better plan, Cynthia pretended to break her ankle and threw herself into his arms.
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