All Floridians Magically Transform into Meteorologists
Every Florida resident, from the Panhandle to the Keys, awoke this morning to find they had been awarded a Bachelor’s of Science Degree in Meteorology from the University of Unearned Expertise. “Of course I know where the hurricane is making landfall!” declared Elvira...
Writing is Better than Cafecito
Hi everyone! I know you’re used to me writing silly articles about traffic, or racists, or pastelitos, but I figured I’d pull back the curtain, mix my metaphors, and show how the literary sausage is made. In three words: it’s really hard. I’m typing this at 3:50 AM on...
Miami Upgrades Bus Fleet to Mule Carts
Miami-Dade County Transportation & Public Works announced it completed a multi-year, $20 million program to replace the Miami bus fleet with mule-drawn carts. This upgrade is projected to drastically improve the fleet’s infamously dismal punctuality and...
Brickell Condos Market to Rich International Criminals
Are you an oligarch who recently fell out of favor with your ruling strongman? Are the proles protesting your family’s generations of accumulated atrocities? Did you accidentally siphon too much money from a state-owned company? Are you pursued by some pesky...
Miami Politicians Ask Constituents to Go Fuck Themselves
All Miami politicians signed a letter asking their constituents to take a long, metaphorical walk off a short pier. It can be read in full below. Dear Miamians, Fuck you. We don’t give a shit about your petty little lives. We never did. You expected us to represent...New Ebook
Totally Ridiculous. 100% Miami.
Read Ch. 1
Checkout the first chapter of 'The Miami Creation Myth.'
