How to Not be a Douchebag to Cuban-Americans

How to Not be a Douchebag to Cuban-Americans

As greater cultural awareness has spread among the U.S. population, many previously acceptable comments have become faux pas. They have been recognized as the sort of deeds that, upon even cursory examination, are often perceived as insulting, demeaning, or just...
Brickell Residents at Higher Risk of Being Assholes

Brickell Residents at Higher Risk of Being Assholes

The University of Miami Miller School of Medicine today published the findings of a longitudinal study that found Brickell residents are 112% more likely to be assholes than control group Miamians. Over 40,000 Brickellites of all generational cohorts were tracked over...
Don Francisco Turns 832 Years Old

Don Francisco Turns 832 Years Old

Beloved Chilean TV host, actor, and philanthropist Luis Kreutzberger Blumenfeld, better known as Don Francisco, turned 832 years old today. He celebrated this milestone surrounded by friends and family at his Indian Creek residence. Don Francisco, who appears to be...
Miami Declared Clinically Insane

Miami Declared Clinically Insane

The American Psychological Association today published an unprecedented report declaring that “Miami is a crazy city,” is “dangerously unstable,” adding that it “should be immediately committed to an asylum for its own and others’ safety.” This appears to...
Walter Mercado Joins The Avengers

Walter Mercado Joins The Avengers

Steve Rogers, better known as Captain America, today held his usual press conference following The Avengers’ latest battle against a cosmic existential threat to the planet. He reported that Granicus the Imperishable, along with her thousands of warrior slaves, was...
Bad Advice for New Graduates

Bad Advice for New Graduates

I’d been working as an administrative assistant at an Ivy League university for about a year when my boss, the school’s marketing director, asked me to compile a list of inspirational quotes for the graduating class. I dutifully sent a mass email to the alumni, asking...