Surgeon General Issues Warning About Cuban Coffee in Miami
The U.S. Surgeon General warned consumers that excessive consumption of Cuban coffee in Miami can have diverse deleterious and anomalous effects on their health. These include, but are not limited to: Excessive energyDifficulty falling asleepUncontrollable shaking...
The Secret to the Perfect Cafecito
Miami’s caffeine cowgirls, the vaunted ventanita ladies, generously decided to share their occult cafecito secrets with The Miami Creation Myth. The following is a detailed, step-by-step description for how to make the perfect cafecito, according to their...
Latina Suffers Existential Crisis After Bungling Her Spanish
Jessie González, whose parents are both Peruvian immigrants, clutched her knees and rocked herself on a tile bathroom floor, convinced she was too embarrassed to speak Spanish ever again. “Rebaja…rebaja…rebaja…” she muttered, staring unblinkingly at an adjacent wall....
Pandemonium in Costco as Miamians Fight to Return Hurricane Supplies
The customer service line snaked out the store and five hundred feet into the parking lot as patrons fought to return their Costco hurricane supplies.. Four days ago, consumers engaged in all-out brawls over the last pallets of bran muffins, two-pound bags of jolly...
Hurricane Dorian Declared a Category 5 Douchebag
The Institute of Assholery Awareness (IAA) today designated Hurricane Dorian a full-blown Category 5 douche. “Dorian is causing widespread emotional, psychological, and physical devastation across its path,” explained Cynthia Almeida, IAA’s Executive Director. “It has...New Ebook
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Read Ch. 1
Checkout the first chapter of 'The Miami Creation Myth.'
