A few weeks ago, I came up with a mind-blowing idea for a satirical essay. It was to be titled “MAGA Latinos in Salvadoran Prison Request Absentee Ballots to Vote for Trump’s Third Term.” It was perfect, if a bit wordy. The inherent jokes were that (1) Trump...
I made it, everyone! The Dirty Thirty. The Double Quinceañera. 30,000 pounds of trash. It’s been a hell of a ride. You can’t spend 163 days in the mangroves collecting and lugging 15 tons of trash on your back without accumulating some scars along the way. Stepping on...
Longtime Miami Creation Myth fans know I’ve been at this little project for a while. Eight years, to be exact. Over that time, I created thousands of memes, hundreds of essays and articles, five live shows, and two short story collections. The classic MCM lore asserts...
“I’m the Secretary of State of the United States of America!” yelled a short, tubby man with dark hair and a Miami accent. He shook his bars in futile frustration while the dozen other detainees in his cell looked on and grinned. “I was a U.S. Senator! I ran for...
Miami’s world-famous club scene varies widely from venue to venue. Some are hyper-exclusive douchebag receptacles. Others are welcoming, come-as-you-are hippie free-for-alls. Below is as comprehensive a guide as several longtime Miami club enjoyers (and occasional...
I’m sitting in the Books & Books Cafe after finishing a key lime pie, and things feel really, really good. A little less than two years ago, I published a silly little book titled The Miami Creation Myth. It’s packed with 11 languages and dialects representing...