The Miami Creation Myth today awarded The Plantain a Pulitzer Prize in Journalism for its article titled “Can We Talk About the Trash that Is The Miami Herald’s Katherine Fernandez Rundle Endorsement?” The piece, written Milo, The Plantain’s Editor-in-Chief, eviscerates the Herald’s decision to support a candidate who spent 27 years in office without ever charging a police officer for an on-duty killing.

Milo’s 1,200-word masterclass in principled disparagement methodically disassembled the myriad oversights made on the Herald Editorial Board’s calamitous journey to their ill-advised endorsement. Though unsparing in his opposition, Milo took great pains to communicate the value of the Herald’s excellent local journalism—an assertion the Miami Creation Myth wholeheartedly echoes.

Most impressive of all, the author wrote his magnum opus over the course of an hour while seated on a toilet. Tellingly (and this is true), the Miami Creation Myth’s own Editor-in-Chief read the article on a 10-minute trip to the restroom.

When asked how he acquired the award, Andrew Otazo, Miami Creation Myth’s founder, glanced shiftily from side to side, threw a flash bomb, and ducked into an alleyway.

In completely unrelated news, the Pulitzer Center has been unable to find its Prize in Journalism since it was reported stolen in 2019 by an “incomprehensibly handsome man.”

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Andrew Otazo

'Miami Creation Myth' author Andrew Otazo has advised officials on Cuba policy, worked for the Mexican president, fired a tank, and ran with 30lbs of trash.

Check out the first free chapter of Andrew’s upcoming book here.