Miami Spends $840 Million on Thing No One Wants
How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 5: Reorgy Week
How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 4: The Field
How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 3: Food & Sleep
How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 2: Hazing & Marching
How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 1: R-Day
Cuban Americans Heroically Fight for Kidnapped Mom by Doing Nothing
The Difficulty of Satirizing MAGA
Why I Removed 30,000 Pounds of Trash from the Mangroves
The Miami Creation Myth Sells Out
Miami to Replace All Remaining Affordable Housing with Stadiums

Miami to Replace All Remaining Affordable Housing with Stadiums

City of Miami Mayor Francis Suarez, a 180-pound sapient amalgamation of Moco de Gorila hair gel and Versace Eros Cologne stuffed into a Burberry suit, slurried to a podium before the Alex Hanna Coliseum. The new home of the Flying Cockroaches, the Magic City’s...
A Beginner’s Guide to Miami’s Dialect

A Beginner’s Guide to Miami’s Dialect

A handy Miamian to English guide of some of the Magic City’s most common phrases. MiamianEnglishI’m parking.I just got out of the showerI’ll be there in 30 minutesYou’ll never see me again.The party starts at 9 PM.The party starts at 12 AM.Stop...
The Art of Cuban Cursing

The Art of Cuban Cursing

Having spent a significant amount of time outside of Miami, and therefore away from my fellow Cuban-Americans, I have gained a tremendous appreciation for the art of Cuban cursing. Firstly, el idioma de Cervantes is particularly well suited for weaving layered,...