Miami Spends $840 Million on Thing No One Wants
How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 5: Reorgy Week
How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 4: The Field
How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 3: Food & Sleep
How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 2: Hazing & Marching
How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 1: R-Day
Cuban Americans Heroically Fight for Kidnapped Mom by Doing Nothing
The Difficulty of Satirizing MAGA
Why I Removed 30,000 Pounds of Trash from the Mangroves
The Miami Creation Myth Sells Out
How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 1: R-Day

How I Didn’t Starve to Death at West Point, Part 1: R-Day

“You’re not starving to death,” explained the 22-year-old medic gripping my ankle. “You’re just starving.” He lanced a triple blister on my heel that had swelled to the size of a tennis ball after a 21-year-old kid styling himself a Cadet Captain decided that forcing...
Take the Miami Gentrification Tour!

Take the Miami Gentrification Tour!

Are you a tourist or recent arrival looking to experience an authentic slice of Miami’s beautiful, messy, chaotic mix of cultures, people, and cuisines? Of course not! You just want the most Instagramable backgrounds to rub in your friends’ faces while they freeze to...
How to Play Cuban Dominoes

How to Play Cuban Dominoes

Some believe Cuban dominoes is a contest of high-level strategy, instant mathematical calculation, and gut intuition. They’re right, of course, but they’re also dead wrong. In its purest form, Cuban dominoes is a vehicle para hablar mierda, a psychological battle...
What Does a Utopian Miami Look Like?

What Does a Utopian Miami Look Like?

The alarm sounds, jolting me out of sleep. I must’ve hit snooze a few times because my phone shows that I have exactly one hour to get from my apartment in Downtown Homestead to my job in Brickell, 30 miles away. I smile. No need to rush. I brush my teeth, pull on...
Why Brickell is Miami’s Worst Neighborhood

Why Brickell is Miami’s Worst Neighborhood

When Miami sinks into the ocean, I want Brickell to go first. Let’s start with the traffic. Assume every motorist, pedestrian, scooter operator, whatever in that God forsaken neighborhood wants to kill themselves and you, because they do. Desperately. And they will...